Golf Must Be Abolished
It’s time to destroy the sport of kings: our humanity is at stake.
A good walk spoiled
“They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken.”
— Raymond Floyd, golfer
The best thing I can say about Tony Blair is that despite being born in Scotland, he is not a golfer. He’s often seen enjoying other games, for instance tennis, but aside from any times his partner in crime George W. Bush might have dragged him along to play a few holes, there is blissfully little golf-related Blair content out there.
On the other hand, the worst thing I can say about Tony Blair is he might as well be a golfer. This is not to say that hitting a ball with a stick is somehow worse than committing war crimes, don’t be absurd. Try to think of golf not as a game or a hobby, or even a waste of time (even though it is). Rather, think of it as a uniquely sinister ideological crucible, a cauldron of global power in which all the evil in the world is stirred into a cocktail of oppression and smugness. Golf is an an empire. It must be abolished.
Even on the surface, golf is horrible. It’s boring. It’s destroying the environment. Billionaires play it. Everyone looks weird. But the true awfulness of this demonic sport goes deeper, because the fact of its existence in the world…
